you know how people lose their virginity, im like gaining it
we could be married with like 4 kids and i’d still be too scared to text you first
one time I was working at Dolly Parton’s water park as a photographer in the lazy river, and taking pictures and what not and I look up and see this very familiar black man floating in a tube toward me.
and it is Akon. So I’m like ‘hey Akon would you like a picture with your family today?’ He is all like ‘no thank you sweetie’ and I was all “well you have a good day, Akon”
he said you too and floated on.
The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
idk if you say possesive things like “you’re mine” i get all melty and weird and will probably fall in love with you
a haiku about my life
i like you a lot
a whole whole whole whole whole lot
now i am crying